My parents gave birth to eight children, and none of us were graduates.
My parents gave birth to eight children, and none of us were graduates.
For years, I was angry with them.
Very angry.
Because how do you bring eight children into this world when life is already hard and you do not even have proper plans for them?
In our house, once you finished secondary school, that was the end.
You would write your WAEC, carry your result, and face life.
My father would always say,
“I have tried for you people. Nobody trained me. I stopped at primary six. So if I trained you till secondary school, I have done my best.”
The audacity used to annoy me so much.
Sometimes I would look at him and become angry inside my spirit because, sincerely, is it not the responsibility of parents to take care of their children?
Why will you have eight children when you know things are hard?
I was the last born, so I watched all these things happen right in front of me.
And it pained me deeply.
Anytime I saw graduates during NYSC, especially when corpers came to our village wearing their white and khaki uniforms, looking neat and polished, something inside me used to ache.
They looked important.
They looked accomplished.
Meanwhile, in our house, secondary school certificate was almost like the final bus stop.
After that, you were on your own.
Our first son, my brother Ikenna, was one of the brightest people in our family. That boy was intelligent. But because there was nobody to sponsor him in school, immediately he finished secondary school, my father sent him to Lagos to go and serve his master as an apprentice.
He was just eighteen years old.
I remember how bitter I felt then.
But in the village, what exactly could he have done? There were barely any opportunities there. Even if you worked, the money they would pay you could barely feed you.
And my parents had already made their position clear from the beginning.
Once you finish secondary school, you are now an adult.
So Ikenna went to Lagos.
He served faithfully for years.
Then at twenty-four, his master settled him properly and he started his own motor parts business.
That was where everything in our family slowly began to change.
I still remember how proud we all felt when he started doing well for himself.
Then one day, he came back home and picked two of my brothers to Lagos too.
He said he wanted to train them in the business.
And truly, those boys learned fast.
Within a few years, Ikenna settled them too.
Suddenly, my brothers were becoming established one after another.
For the first time in my life, I started feeling small hope for our family.
Then they came back again and picked our last brother.
By that time, our first daughter was already married, so it remained just the three girls at home, including me, the last born.
One evening, my brothers gathered us and asked what we wanted to do with our lives.
Immediately, I said,
“I want to go to school.”
Everybody laughed.
Because honestly, I had always been the dramatic and funny one in the family.
But I was serious.
I told them,
“At least let there be one graduate in this family. The Okoye family did not kill anybody.”
They laughed harder.
But my brother Ikenna looked at me seriously and said something that changed my life forever.
He said,
“Going to school is beautiful. But please, learn a skill too.”
Then he explained that some of the people he knew who graduated and even did master’s degrees were still looking for jobs everywhere.
Some of them even wanted to come work for him.
I was shocked.
That was when I realized education alone was no longer enough.
So I told him I had always loved fashion and wanted to learn sewing.
Immediately he agreed.
And because he did not want me learning tailoring from random roadside people in the village, he asked me to pack my bags and follow him to Lagos.
I was excited beyond words.
My immediate elder sister, Ifeoma, said she wanted to learn baking, while another sister said she wanted to become a nurse.
So I and Ifeoma followed Ikenna to Lagos.
He enrolled me in fashion school while my sister started learning baking professionally.
One year later, after learning tailoring properly, I gained admission to study Microbiology.
And throughout university, my sewing skill became my backbone.
While other students struggled heavily, my sewing business supported me.
Most people in school did not even know I was into fashion.
My classmates would look shocked whenever they saw me sewing.
“I thought you studied Microbiology?”
“How come you know fashion designing too?”
I would just laugh.
What they did not know was that the skill was feeding me quietly.
After graduation, I carried my certificate proudly and started searching for jobs.
I went from one company to another.
Nothing.
Another place.
Nothing.
Another one again.
Nothing.
At some point, somebody advised me to do a master’s degree so I could have better chances.
That was when reality finally hit me properly.
I sat down one day and asked myself,
“Wait… can’t I sew again?”
That skill I almost overlooked was already making money for me.
So instead of carrying my certificate around endlessly, I returned fully to fashion designing.
And honestly?
That sewing business was what announced me to the world.
My brother supported me.
I got a better space.
I expanded gradually.
And before I knew it, people started recognizing my work.
The same sewing I once saw as “just a skill” became the thing putting my name out there.
Still, one of the proudest moments of my life was my convocation day.
My entire family came.
Even my parents traveled from the village to Lagos just to celebrate me, the first graduate in the family.
That day was emotional for me.
Very emotional.
But as beautiful as graduation was, I also understood something important.
That certificate alone would not have been enough if I could not stand on my own and survive.
That was when I stopped being angry with my parents.
Yes, I used to resent them for having eight children without enough resources.
But when I looked around later in life, I realized something.
My siblings became one of the greatest blessings of my life.
Ikenna lifted almost everybody in the family.
My brothers became successful businessmen.
One sister became a nurse and is literally saving lives.
My sister Ifeoma turned baking into a thriving business and now handles events and programs.
Then me, the stubborn last born that wanted to wear khaki and white, became both a graduate and a successful fashion designer.
So sometimes I ask myself:
Which of my siblings would I say I did not want my parents to give birth to?
The brother that changed our story?
The nurse?
The baker?
Or me, the first graduate?
At the end of the day, I realized that having good siblings is one of the greatest gifts parents can give their children.
Today, all of us are married with our own families, and whenever we gather together, my heart becomes full.
Nothing is broken.
Nothing is scattered.
We still stand for each other.
And these days, whenever I look at my parents, I no longer feel anger.
I smile instead.
Because despite all the struggles, despite the lack, despite the hardship, they gave us something many people pray for but never experience.
A family that truly loves and carries each other.
That experience taught me two powerful lessons.
First, education is important, but please, learn a skill.
A certificate is beautiful, but a skill can feed you while you are still searching for opportunities.
Never depend on only one path.
Secondly, never underestimate the power of family.
Sometimes the greatest wealth is not money.
It is having people who genuinely want to see you win.
My brother Ikenna could have focused only on himself after succeeding in Lagos.
But he came back for us.
And because he came back for us, one success turned into many successes.
That is how generational lifting begins.
One person rises…
then stretches a hand backward.
And honestly, when I look at my family today, I thank God for every single one of my siblings.
Because life may not have started perfectly for us…
But together, we became something beautiful. Read more wonderful stories here 👇👇👇
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